If you have a loved one who has recently passed away, and you are aware of some tension between family members, you will need to do some advance planning to keep the peace during your loved one's funeral. Since these family members will most likely be present for the funeral, there is a risk of an argument during the funeral itself. Emotions tend to get in the way, making it a possibly volatile situation. Here are some tips on how to hold a peaceful funeral when there is a risk of a family feud lurking in the background.
Address The Problem
When a funeral is at stake, there is no need to tip-toe around the situation. You will want your loved one to have a respectable ceremony without incident. Call any family member who you worry may stir up trouble and let them know you would like to have them attend the funeral, but they must not fight with other family members. Let them know who else may be attending so they have time to think over whether they wish to come to the funeral or stay away because they do not wish to be involved in drama.
Informing the troublemakers you are aware they may cause trouble can actually stop it from occurring altogether. They will have the warning and will not be surprised if you ask them to leave should something arise.
Have Someone Observe
Since you will be grieving and speaking with others at the funeral, appoint someone else to be your eyes and ears during the event. Have them nonchalantly walk up to family members to offer condolences and listen to stories about the deceased. If they catch an inkling of a potential problem arising, have them quietly speak to the people involved to warn them to stop or they will need to leave. They can try keeping drama at a minimum by distracting troublemakers with conversation as well. Having someone else do this surveillance work will take the pressure from you to keep on top of the drama that may be unfolding.
Consider A Private Ceremony
If having the extended family come to the funeral is too risky, opt for a private ceremony instead. Include this information in your loved one's obituary so there are no ill feelings from friends or extended family members. Let people know where ashes will be spread or where the grave site is located so they can say their farewells on their own.
Talk with a funeral director from a funeral home like Linnemann Funeral Homes to receive more counsel on dealing with grieving family members during this potentially stressful time. Funeral homes often can provide resources for planning a funeral as well as handling the uncomfortable conversations that can come along with it.Share